LX will be so proud of us

today is one of the special days of the year, and i must say, i am not exactly thrilled at clocking in on my chronological timeline. therefore to spice things up a little, i brought these home from the office:


they were originally meant for LX for my own amusement, but after some chasing around and cold hard stares from KH, i dropped the idea.

but KH, being the nice daddy and hubby he is, wanting to save his daughter from looking stupid but not disappoint the wife who likes to do stupid things, decided to sacrifice himself. what a great hubby, looking great with that hair style. he even managed to look happy in those pictures (yes, he actually sat through for more than one... eight to be exact). i had wanted him to pose, like combing his "hair", or looking suave but i think it is a better idea not to push my luck too far. but surprise surprise! he even allowed me to post this pic! hahaha...

...my dear child, when you are older and see this pic, i hope you would still be proud of your crazy folks!

you don't mess with the zo-tans

we went to parkway parade on one of the weekends to try to use up my vouchers which were expiring on that day. it was raining and we decided to try our luck for a parking lot in the forever-crowded shopping mall car park instead of a nearby HDB car park. as we head towards the 3rd level of the car park, we got lucky. a family was heading for their car in a lot at a corner.

as per normal practice, KH parked a few cars behind and put on the hazard lights while waiting for the car to exit. however, a few moments later, another car came up and parked right in front of us and put the lights on as well, when obviously only one lot was going to be available.

KH gave him the benefit of doubt and flashed the headlights to signal to the car that we were there first. the car didn't budge, so he decided to press the horn to inform him that the lot was ours. finally the car did move, but instead of leaving, the fellow drove his car up and positioned it some distance away from that lot such that he could slot his car in the moment the other car leaves.

i asked KH if he was going to have it out with that fellow, and he said yes. already, i could see him morph from dr. jekyll to mr. hyde. good luck to the guy who decided to persist his way to hell.

without another word, KH got out of the car, slammed the door, and stormed his way to the other car. maybe it's my imagination, but he even looked a bit hunched up. i couldn't hear the commotion, but i could definitely see it. some minutes later, while KH stormed back, the idiotic driver stared all his way into our car at me, before making his way off. i resisted the urge to give him the finger with great effort. at least not in front of LX.

i asked KH what went on between the two of them. he said he told that fellow that we were there waiting first. and the fellow, instead of apologizing to mr. hyde, defiantly replied "you don't have to shout what, i didn't see you".

come on, cut the crap. you must be blind and deaf not to have noticed our car. and what is your lousy excuse for positioning your car so that you can beat us to the lot once the other car leaves? amazingly, you can even come out with such a lame liner so that you can have the last say.

you are probably keeping your fingers crossed that you could cut us and get the lot, while we just watch you get your way dumbfoundedly? oh oh, and when we stare at you with hatred as you park and leave, you will just look everywhere else except into our eyes? because you have succeeded doing this so many times before? huh, hUH?!

well you have picked the wrong family to mess with then. even if KH wasn't there, i would have given you hell myself. i don't care if i have to create a scene just to showcase your bloody disgusting behavior. still stare at me. i should always arm myself with a camera so that i can film such people down and post their ugly behavior on youtube.

anyways, i am pretty sure that fellow must be bitching about us too because he thinks he is right, with his warp sense of justice. maybe he wasn't staring at me. maybe he was memorizing our car plate, color and make so that one day, if he spots our car in a deserted car park, he can take a spray can that he always keep in handy in his car, draw a big sunshine and write f*ck you on our hood. and maybe for a twisted guy like him, he has a list of cars to spray...

... in your dreams, coward. fight like a man and get your own parking lot, before someone sprays your car instead.

to the intended a-hole recipient: i hope you get the message

it's been quite a while...

...since i've posted anything here, adding to my "it's been quite a while" collection.

counting back, i realize that it has actually been half a year since i last blogged. i wonder where the hell i've been. i remember trying to make it a point to blog at least once a month to mark the milestones of LX, but look how much i have missed out.

anyways to make up for lost time, here are some quick highlights:

september: i got adventurous and brought LX to ikea all on my own. we had fun and i even bought a potty, bibs and some toys.
it stopped being fun when i had to carry LX and the stuff i bought while waiting for the taxi with 10 ahead of me in the line

october: LX called KH "daddy" when she saw him walking towards us as we waited outside the car while he went to buy 4D. KH must have felt that he really strike 4D then

november: LX went for her first preschool trial lesson. she took to the toys immediately, but not to the teachers and kids. the teacher tried, with effort, to involve her. she didn't try very hard after LX told her to keep quiet when she put her forefinger on her baby lips, pout them a little, and made a "shhhh" sound

december: LX went to a chalet (rented by my mom) for the first time

january: i released LX without her diapers as i wanted to air her butt, hoping to get rid of some nappy rash. i was thinking of doing it for 5 minutes but decided to push my luck by letting her roam butt naked a little longer.
a few minutes later, LX peed a pool and slipped on it. needless to say, i got hell from KH for this act of stupidity

february: LX managed to make a hole out of her pacifier (amazingly) after months of intensive sucking. we decided to use this chance to wean her off it. LX went cold turkey and suffered withdrawal symptoms. it goes without saying that we suffered along with her

i'm sure there were other highlights but i promise it will be quick. when i think of any (and if i have the time) i will be back to post them. and hopefully, the next post will not share the same title as this one.

another one of mom's stupid ideas?

caution: this is NOT a toy

if the falling-off-the-bed is an episode of horrible parents, then this is its blockbuster sequel.

notice that for many items have the "caution: this is NOT a toy" label? i used to think that such warnings are rubbish. i mean, try defining toys for children and something cute and colorful will probably come to mind. which idiot will think an empty package box or bottle as a kiddy toy?

well, i turned into that idiot when i became a parent. especially a hungry one who is desperately trying to keep her irate toddler occupied at the dinner table.

here's just a short list of objects that has became short term "toys":

1) at the dinner table: spoons, cutlery knife, bowls, plates, straws, packs of sugar, packs of tissue paper, serviettes, menus, menu stands, cards, keys.

and just to clarify, the cutlery knife idea wasn't mine. and when i snatched it away from LX, which resulted in her screaming and bawling away, i was scolded. since then, i've made sure it's a singular incident.

2) at home: bottles, boxes, "safety" scissors, remote controls, envelopes, moisturizers, foundation, eye shadow, clothes pegs, brushes, batteries, drawers, contact lenses, ointment, toothpaste, toothbrush, pen, pencil, coasters, cheque books, switches, laptop.

this one i must admit. the scissors was my bloody idea. she has this cute piyo piyo nail scissors in a shield, and i was fobbed into thinking that would be kinda innocent. until one day, she figured out how to get rid of the pesky shield and get to the real thing.

3) in the car: car seat straps, brochures, lanyard with employee passes at the end, pacifier tag, mobile phones, interior car lights, steering wheel, various car buttons and knobs... at the driver's seat.

but of course, she was at the wheel only when the car is stationary. we are not that desperate, not that horrible.

i've probably missed out somethings, but i'm sure they are all similar desperate measures. for my dear LX, anything that is fresh and new is potentially a toy, for the next 5 minutes at least, and her real regular toys don't work anymore. and if you think i'm writing all these just to indicate that LX is a victim of poor parenting, well, she's not the only recipient.

aside from being scolded for doing the right thing on the cutlery knife,

a) i've been conked in the head by literally flying piyo piyo when she holds one end of her pacifier tag and swings it like a lasso

b) KH has been slapped by his own employee pass when she was waving it to and fro by the lanyard

c) i've lost one swarovski crystal off my mobile phone chain when she threw it from her high chair

d) electricity bills has gone up because she simply enjoys turning the air conditioner on and off just to hear the beep sound

i'm not trying to find excuses with the last parts, but hey, do share some ideas if you have any. and LX, when you grow up and in any chance get to read this, don't get upset. at least you didn't fall off the 2nd story window of your own home. haha.

morbid comforts

coincidentally on the day child fell off the bed, while we were waiting for my country folks to call in during one of my weekly meetings, my big boss asked about my little one.

i told him that she fell off the bed that morning, and immediately there were gasps, concerned looks and queries on how it happened, and how she was doing. i described the unfortunate event and when i said that the poor critter ended up flat on her back bawling away, it must have came out funny because everyone started to laugh. some of them ended up feeling embarrassed about cracking up but it was okay because i was trying to make light of the situation.

and as if to make up for it, one father started to share his story about a similar incident. he asked me how high my bed was, and i said half a meter. then he told us that his kid fell over a height of one meter. what was upsetting was that both parents were in the room at that time, but just that as their backs were turned, the poor boy pivoted on the cot's rail, which was put half way down, and fell head down towards the floor.

i was not sure if i should feel comforted, then another colleague started to share about the story of her friend's toddler who fell out of the window of her two story bungalow. miraculously, there were no injuries at all.

at that moment, my country folks called in and we went about our business. which is a good thing, because i did not think i could bear to hear more about another child falling out of something that will top a two story bungalow's window.

so my dear LX, if you think about it, compared to these kids, maybe you are not getting such a bad deal after all? hahaha.

that the bolster rolls is no rocket science

today my dear child fell off the bed.

i was in the shower and KH was making his way to brush his teeth when i heard a loud thump, followed by a sharp cry. instinctively, i knew LX fell off the bed.

when i got out of the bathroom after a mad rush thinking oh-my-god-oh-my-god all time, KH was already carrying LX towards me. she wasn't crying anymore and was clearly upset, but mostly she looked shocked. KH inspected her limbs and i checked the back of her head for bumps and thank god, she was in the clear. but still, we aren't entirely satisfied. we promise ourselves we will monitor her for a few more days to make sure she is really alright.

we sort of reviewed the whole incident in the car on our way to work and it turns out that the loud thump i heard was actually from KH, who tripped after he heard LX cried out. LX fell off because she rolled and the bolster, which shouldn't be used as a barricade on the bed against the floor, rolled along. when KH found her, she was lying on her back on the floor, splayed out like a starfish, and bawling away. the image haunted KH in a way, and he felt really really bad about it. i felt bad about it too, because a few times the bolster was used to block LX from the floor, it did occur to me that it will roll along with her. but for some reason i just dismiss that thought. so i have been a party to this too.

luckily LX is fine, no unusual symptoms or bumps. we speculated that the bolster hit the floor first, and she probably landed on it, and then bounced off it. so that could have soften the blow. maybe i'm trying to soften our blow by thinking that, but if that really happens, then we are really lucky.

whatever it is, we will watch out and make sure such things never happen again. my dear LX, mummy and daddy are so sorry. we will constantly remind ourselves that the bolster, being a cylindrical figure, rolls is no rocket science. please forgive us?

this is what happens when you leave your 8 month old alone. . .

... with a farley's rusk. and i'm talking about the whole round rice biscuit. i didn't bother to break it up to smaller portions despite some wise advices from KH.



and after ooo-ing and aah-ing about how she was taking to the biscuit, i actually forgot about it. i went about pushing the pram while talking to my brother, with LX enjoying her bigger-than-her-palm rusk (as in having fun with it rather than in the gastronomical sense).

when i suddenly remembered and checked, the whole rusk was gone. not in her tummy, but all over the pram, her hands and her face. i was glad that at that moment, KH was not around to witness his sweet baby girl mouthing the pram's bar away because it was covered with delicious rusk.

so yeah, the perfect combination of stupidity and forgetfulness.

that was in february when we were at great world city shopping centre. i don't remember why we were there (and why my brother was with us), but i just came across these pictures and decided to make up for lost time by posting this blog.

today, we officially have one more senior citizen in the family...

... because today is my father's 60th birthday! to commemorate this milestone of life, he specifically asked for roasted goose. so yesterday, we brought him to Imperial Treasure (Ngee Ann City) for dinner. 3 generations in the family celebrating the man hitting the big 6-0. my brother told him that he must be feeling all warm and fuzzy.

i didn't hear my father's response to that, because LX was creating mayhem at the table. but earlier part of the day, i did ask my father on how he felt about being a senior citizen officially. and he told me that he had already applied for his senior citizen ez link card 2 weeks ago. then he went on to complain that the lower fares can only be enjoyed during concession hours. in anyways, i am glad that he is making plans for his new status and privileges.

so yeah father, this little slot is dedicated to you on this special day. it has been a great 27 years knowing you, and we hope for many more years to laugh with (and at) you. you are one of the funniest guy i have ever met, simply just because you never meant to be. just love the way you pronounce "soap" for soup, "poke" for pork and "scape" for scalp, and how you always emphasize the "rot" in carROT. and brother and i never bother to correct you. we also appreciate the support you have always given us big guy. so yeah, lose weight and stay happy.

poser

do we always have a choice?

when i was in primary school, usually after the year end final exams, there would be a period of time when we would not have lessons and we would be free to bring our toys, games or whatever entertainment to class and have some fun together.

besides the regular board games, dolls and uno cards, some of my friends brought books. teachers might have been a bit surprised, but these are not books for literary development. these are what we called "game books".

such books begin by a very short story line. in fact, that very first story line will lead you to scenario whereby you have to make a choice. whatever choice you make will take you to different pages. that means you do not read the book by the page sequence. and whatever choice you make each time, can lead you to very different endings. for example, say your story starts in a forest whereby you are walking down a path. along the way, you found a treasure box. if you choose to open the box, go to page 2. if you choose to ignore the box and continue your way down the path, go to page 5. whether you go to page 2 or 5, it will lead you to a point whereby you have to make a choice to go to page x or page y. and this goes on until your story ends. you get the idea.

ironically, this is one of the most important lesson i learn about life in school. we are all put into that very first story line when we start to be able to consciously make decisions. except for that very first story line and whatever life hands you, we always have choices. the only problem is whether the choice is an easy or difficult one.

the uncertainty of the outcome behind each choice is proportional to the difficulty of making the decision. and life is full of uncertainties. also, picking one option out of the rest might mean giving up other alternatives (opportunities?) available. therefore whatever life hands us, we should try to pick the choice that seems best at that point in time, and one that will not metamorphose to regret. and even though it might be difficult sometimes, the last thing we should do is to go into self-denial, say that we have no choice, and give up.

oh well, writing it down is much easier than doing it. how many times have i said that i have "no choice but to ... ..."? anyways to reverse the solemnity of this post, below is the picture of one difficult choice i had to make:

before it's gone

today i'll like to talk about my hair before there's nothing much left to talk about anymore.

i started losing hair in the past few weeks at a crazy rate. you know it's bad when you can see your hair flowing into the drainage in clumps while you shower, when you keep finding strands of your own hair in your dinner because it's dropping off while you are eating, and when you pick your child up from the bed, she's covered with your hair.

i tried to make the situation better by going for a haircut, and i compounded the problem by going to a lousy hairstylist who gave me a disaterous haircut that left me permanently in a hairclip.

actually i should be in awe of the hairstylist. he turned my hair into a wild octopus. my trusty hairclip that accompanied me through pregnancy, birth, and the turmoil of taking care of a newborn was ripped into two after a day. subsequently, no hairclip, metal clasp or not, can contain it. five minutes after clamping it down with a hairclip, it will find some way to stick out of it and go in all directions. my barbaric hair also scorns at brushes and combs. the teeth of the comb are no match. i almost lost it in a mass of tentacle. and blowing it with a hair dryer turns me into a sacred being with a halo of hair radiating from the sides. i haven't tried drowning it in gel yet.

looking into the mirror sends me into depression. the urge to shave myself bald is getting stronger everyday. actually maybe this might be the intention of the wise hairstylist. he knows that i have a serious hair loss problem and i probably will never shave myself bald to save it. perhaps i should continue to think this way for that stupid fool's sake.

why we finally decide the baby cot is too small

our special day

today marks my 2 year anniversary with KH. 3 aug 2005 was the day we first started our life together as a couple. this date has been very meaningful to us ever since, and the 3rd of every month is a day whereby we'll at least kiss to commemorate that special day.

however, after all the sweetness above, i must admit: somehow* i can never remember to wish KH on the 3rd of every month. he started the practice first, and has faithfully wished me "happy xxth month anniversary dear" on the days ever since. because he has been so sweet, i have tried to initate the wishings but somehow** i never made it. i think this is what they call "bo sim". on that very one occasion KH forgot and i remembered, i wished him on the 4th instead. not because it was belated, but because somehow*** i thought it was the 4th.

so no prize for guessing what happened today.

yeah! u are right! i did it again! i forgot!

today also happens to be my first day back to work after my maternity leave. so yeah, that's why i got a lot of things on my mind. and therefore somehow****, that sort of got pushed out. a beautiful bouquet of pink roses got delivered to me in the office. i was surprised because not many people knew i started work today and when i saw KH's name on the delivery order, my initial thought was that he's sending it to me to encourage me on my first day of work because he knew i was kind of upset about it.

oh well. but needless to say, i was elated. my dearest KH is now in the states and i am disappointed that we can't be together on this day^. but if u think about it, one good thing about my forgetfulness about this is that rightfully i should get tired of this thing since we do it every month. but i don't. each one is as refreshing to me. and therefore, i have at least one thing to be happy about every month... no? see my quote of the moment?

anyways, to stop sounding like a heartless bastard, i do have a note for KH on this very special day:

"dear dear, i find it amazing that we have been together for 2 years already. i can still remember those times when we were dating with fondness, and i remember me telling you that i am really very happy many many times. that statement still holds very true up till today, so i'm going to say it again. i am really very very happy. and because of you, i am the luckiest girl in the world. thank you dear, and may we live together in happiness always."

and to celebrate this day without excluding our sweet baby child, here is a picture of her i took specially for him. i dragged his mom in to take a look, and she was very amused and we had a good laugh over it (at child's expense, and she's so oblivious of it! that's the funniest part). and MT, if u are reading this, u have a part in it too. haha. and i really like them, they make her sooooo cute.







___________________________________________________
*this is a very convenient word to make something lame sound more like a reason rather than an excuse
**so that's why i'm using it again
***and again
****and again!
^like i remember

change is inevitable...

...except from a vending machine, so says Robert C. Gallagher*

just look at my little cherub:



her eyes are showing more than just the pupils, her eyebrows are appearing, her cheeks are chubbier and her hair is longer. in other words, she is growing. her weight at one month was 4.3kg, which means she gained about a kg from birth. which is quite a feat considering that i am a very clumsy person, and i can't even take care of myself.

well, she's not the only one changing... look at me:



the nose is smaller, and the cheeks less chubby. i think i look much prettier too.

in short, i lost 10kg in a month. KH also lost 3kg. that's 13kg lost in a month in exchange for a 1kg gain in weight. i looked better in that pic because i put a lot of makeup to cover up the pale skin, dark rings and bags around the eyes that resulted from sleepless nights, endless feeding and constant changing of diapers. and not to mention those times when we have to rock and cuddle her in our tired arms to pacify her inconsolable crying, until we feel like crying ourselves.

... ...

am i complaining?




____________________________________
*i don't know who he is

battle of the diaper change

the gauntlet is thrown at the first sound of a fart or a bleep-bleep-bleep. i calmly accept it and arrange to meet half hour later for her to finish her business.

while waiting, i set up my combat formation on the bed, our battleground. i lay out the changing mat, waterproof pad, diaper wipes, cotton pads, nappy rash cream and diapers. i also make sure that the tissue box is fully loaded and the rubbish bin is within shooting range.

the time has come. we take our positions: me on the waterproof pad, and she on the changing mat. in lightning speed, i remove the booties, the pants and the right fastener of the diaper to assess the damage. as expected, it is full of crap. but do not be fooled into thinking that she won't crap anymore, thou be forewarned! precautionary measures still have to be taken!

i quickly launch my attack on her butt with an onslaught of diaper wipes and cotton pads. she fires back rapidly by kicking my hands away with her little baby legs. but i continue to hold the fort. sensing it is not working, she decides to ambush me. she stops her "no shadow kicks" and sneakily stares ahead. i know that look all too well. sure enough, she launches an explosive missile of crap suddenly. i promptly defend by using the "tissue paper shield". wahahahahahaha. i learn my lesson well. the last time she got me with a projectile of shit and i was in the direct line of fire.

the battle is won when i stick the right fastener of a fresh diaper on, and i remain unharmed. however, there is no room for complacency. i will continue to remain vigilant. all the more when my trusty sidekick, KH, is not around.

till we meet again.

the wait is finally over!

here's the premiere showing ooofff... ...THE CHILD

the wait is going to be over soon

the time unit till the delivery of child has changed from months, to weeks, to days, and now finally, to hours. i am scheduled to be induced into labour tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.

and i am not sure how i should feel. i sure didn't wake up this morning feeling all excited about meeting child tomorrow, about today being the last day of my pregnancy. in fact, i think i'm going to miss feeling child having a rolling good time inside me, and KH touching my bump asking how she's doing. i'm also going to miss the things he did with me while i was pregnant, like going for my gynae visits, to maternity classes and waiting around in Orchard while i attended my pre-natal yoga classes.

today, he even bought a real coconut for me to drink, in preparation for the big day tomorrow. however, he bought an uncut one. he managed to hack the pointy top part off, only to expose more husk and no nut. after struggling for a while on the top part, he decided to try another strategy, to hack the sides instead.

i wonder how intelligent that was, thinking that the sides are even thicker. he even asked me if i can do without the flesh, just take the drink, thinking that he could hack his way through from the sides and milk the coconut water into a mug.

after a good half hour, a lot of sweat and husk lying around, he finally gave up and threw the whole coconut away. to make himself feel better, he said it cost only one buck anyways.

oh yeah, i think i'm going to miss such "pregnancy" antics from KH as well.

the different reactions - zzzZZ

date: 5 june 2007
time: 03:30
location: our bed


this time, KH did wake up. and he even tried to soothe my tummy. however, i was a bit surprised that he said: "child, not tonight okay?"

and i think he just didn't continue saying "cos daddy wants to sleep"...*





______________________________________________________________
*altho' in his defense, KH said he meant that he was trying to tell child to stop moving so that i wouldn't feel so much pain...

the different reactions - zzz

date: 5 june 2007
time: 01:32
location: our bed


i was drifting in and out of sleep while suddenly my tummy started to hurt real bad. it was like sore menstrual cramps, and the pain enveloped my whole belly. i prodded at it, but it didn't feel tight, it felt soft, like an overripe fruit instead.

my back was facing KH, so i had to reach back and grope for him instead. i finally found his hand, tugged at it and said: "dear, i'm in pain, i'm iN PAIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!!"

i stopped to catch my breathe and tried to make myself more comfortable.

he mumbled to ask if i was alright. then, there was a pause. then...

i heard him snore.

i guess being worried about him being too jittery and not being able to find the car was unfounded. haha.

the different reactions - where's my car

date: 30 May 2007
time: 14:12
location: b2 carpark, anchorage point


KH and i just had lunch over at paddy fields. the brouhaha over at the gynae's had shredded my nerves to bits, but still left me with appetite for some thai food.

however, it didn't strike me that KH's nerves were pretty frayed too. i should have noted the signs. firstly, he couldn't decide what to do when we couldn't find a parking space at alexander's village where we originally wanted to lunch. secondly, he couldn't decide what to eat at paddy fields. he was flipping the menu, but i'm not sure if he was even looking at it.

the tell-tale sign really came when we went to the carpark for the car. he couldn't find it. KH always finds the car. and then he started to freak out: "where's my car, WHERE'S MY CARRRR?!?!?!?!". and next: "我明明park這裡的!!!",

while his 39 weeks pregnant wife was standing there with fatigue and the possiblity of labour.

i wanted to suggest maybe we could check the other side of the carpark. i was getting really tired and wanted to tell him my legs were going to break. and also add that if he did not calm down and find the stupid car, i would like to break him as well.

but in anyways, it was actually kind of sweet to know how anxious he is about the whole thing. my usually cool and decisive KH losing it because of me and child. however, it wasn't so comforting to think if he has to send me to the hospital, and him going "where's my car, WHERE'S MY CARRRR?!?!?!?!" in the carpark... ...

the different reactions - this is it

date: 30 may 2007
time: 11:05
location: dr Tham's clinic, Gleneagles


we saw dr Yam for the first time since dr Tham was away, and he seems like a detailed, caring and very hands-on gynae. i had the CTG, an internal examination and a scan done, and he listened very attentively to what i said. which is great, cos likely child can't wait for dr Tham to be back and i'm just as comfortable with him.

i just needed to go to the toilet before i leave. somehow i feel that something is not right down there. and true enough, there was a 10 by 1 cm trail of fresh blood on my panty liner. i let out a gasp. and surprisingly, KH could hear it even though he's in the male's toilet and i'm in the female's.

from the toilet he shouted, "what happened, dear?!" i don't really feel like shouting back from the toilet and have a conversation between toilet doors, so i got done with my business quickly. he came out shortly and started rapping at my door. i went out and told him about my discovery.

we hurried back to the clinic. i had another internal examination, this time with some device. after some delibration, i was finally sent back home with an mc, for observations, just to make sure that it's labour time before i'm admitted.

we started to make some calls (and we were still in the clinic). i called my boss and probably said gibberish, but the bottom line was that i wasn't going to turn up for work. my colleagues called as well as they were expecting me. i probably said the same gibberish with the same bottom line. i'm not sure about KH, but i was shaking all over, thinking this is it, this is it... ...