caution: this is NOT a toy

if the falling-off-the-bed is an episode of horrible parents, then this is its blockbuster sequel.

notice that for many items have the "caution: this is NOT a toy" label? i used to think that such warnings are rubbish. i mean, try defining toys for children and something cute and colorful will probably come to mind. which idiot will think an empty package box or bottle as a kiddy toy?

well, i turned into that idiot when i became a parent. especially a hungry one who is desperately trying to keep her irate toddler occupied at the dinner table.

here's just a short list of objects that has became short term "toys":

1) at the dinner table: spoons, cutlery knife, bowls, plates, straws, packs of sugar, packs of tissue paper, serviettes, menus, menu stands, cards, keys.

and just to clarify, the cutlery knife idea wasn't mine. and when i snatched it away from LX, which resulted in her screaming and bawling away, i was scolded. since then, i've made sure it's a singular incident.

2) at home: bottles, boxes, "safety" scissors, remote controls, envelopes, moisturizers, foundation, eye shadow, clothes pegs, brushes, batteries, drawers, contact lenses, ointment, toothpaste, toothbrush, pen, pencil, coasters, cheque books, switches, laptop.

this one i must admit. the scissors was my bloody idea. she has this cute piyo piyo nail scissors in a shield, and i was fobbed into thinking that would be kinda innocent. until one day, she figured out how to get rid of the pesky shield and get to the real thing.

3) in the car: car seat straps, brochures, lanyard with employee passes at the end, pacifier tag, mobile phones, interior car lights, steering wheel, various car buttons and knobs... at the driver's seat.

but of course, she was at the wheel only when the car is stationary. we are not that desperate, not that horrible.

i've probably missed out somethings, but i'm sure they are all similar desperate measures. for my dear LX, anything that is fresh and new is potentially a toy, for the next 5 minutes at least, and her real regular toys don't work anymore. and if you think i'm writing all these just to indicate that LX is a victim of poor parenting, well, she's not the only recipient.

aside from being scolded for doing the right thing on the cutlery knife,

a) i've been conked in the head by literally flying piyo piyo when she holds one end of her pacifier tag and swings it like a lasso

b) KH has been slapped by his own employee pass when she was waving it to and fro by the lanyard

c) i've lost one swarovski crystal off my mobile phone chain when she threw it from her high chair

d) electricity bills has gone up because she simply enjoys turning the air conditioner on and off just to hear the beep sound

i'm not trying to find excuses with the last parts, but hey, do share some ideas if you have any. and LX, when you grow up and in any chance get to read this, don't get upset. at least you didn't fall off the 2nd story window of your own home. haha.