the gauntlet is thrown at the first sound of a fart or a bleep-bleep-bleep. i calmly accept it and arrange to meet half hour later for her to finish her business.
while waiting, i set up my combat formation on the bed, our battleground. i lay out the changing mat, waterproof pad, diaper wipes, cotton pads, nappy rash cream and diapers. i also make sure that the tissue box is fully loaded and the rubbish bin is within shooting range.
the time has come. we take our positions: me on the waterproof pad, and she on the changing mat. in lightning speed, i remove the booties, the pants and the right fastener of the diaper to assess the damage. as expected, it is full of crap. but do not be fooled into thinking that she won't crap anymore, thou be forewarned! precautionary measures still have to be taken!
i quickly launch my attack on her butt with an onslaught of diaper wipes and cotton pads. she fires back rapidly by kicking my hands away with her little baby legs. but i continue to hold the fort. sensing it is not working, she decides to ambush me. she stops her "no shadow kicks" and sneakily stares ahead. i know that look all too well. sure enough, she launches an explosive missile of crap suddenly. i promptly defend by using the "tissue paper shield". wahahahahahaha. i learn my lesson well. the last time she got me with a projectile of shit and i was in the direct line of fire.
the battle is won when i stick the right fastener of a fresh diaper on, and i remain unharmed. however, there is no room for complacency. i will continue to remain vigilant. all the more when my trusty sidekick, KH, is not around.
till we meet again.
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