caution: this is NOT a toy

if the falling-off-the-bed is an episode of horrible parents, then this is its blockbuster sequel.

notice that for many items have the "caution: this is NOT a toy" label? i used to think that such warnings are rubbish. i mean, try defining toys for children and something cute and colorful will probably come to mind. which idiot will think an empty package box or bottle as a kiddy toy?

well, i turned into that idiot when i became a parent. especially a hungry one who is desperately trying to keep her irate toddler occupied at the dinner table.

here's just a short list of objects that has became short term "toys":

1) at the dinner table: spoons, cutlery knife, bowls, plates, straws, packs of sugar, packs of tissue paper, serviettes, menus, menu stands, cards, keys.

and just to clarify, the cutlery knife idea wasn't mine. and when i snatched it away from LX, which resulted in her screaming and bawling away, i was scolded. since then, i've made sure it's a singular incident.

2) at home: bottles, boxes, "safety" scissors, remote controls, envelopes, moisturizers, foundation, eye shadow, clothes pegs, brushes, batteries, drawers, contact lenses, ointment, toothpaste, toothbrush, pen, pencil, coasters, cheque books, switches, laptop.

this one i must admit. the scissors was my bloody idea. she has this cute piyo piyo nail scissors in a shield, and i was fobbed into thinking that would be kinda innocent. until one day, she figured out how to get rid of the pesky shield and get to the real thing.

3) in the car: car seat straps, brochures, lanyard with employee passes at the end, pacifier tag, mobile phones, interior car lights, steering wheel, various car buttons and knobs... at the driver's seat.

but of course, she was at the wheel only when the car is stationary. we are not that desperate, not that horrible.

i've probably missed out somethings, but i'm sure they are all similar desperate measures. for my dear LX, anything that is fresh and new is potentially a toy, for the next 5 minutes at least, and her real regular toys don't work anymore. and if you think i'm writing all these just to indicate that LX is a victim of poor parenting, well, she's not the only recipient.

aside from being scolded for doing the right thing on the cutlery knife,

a) i've been conked in the head by literally flying piyo piyo when she holds one end of her pacifier tag and swings it like a lasso

b) KH has been slapped by his own employee pass when she was waving it to and fro by the lanyard

c) i've lost one swarovski crystal off my mobile phone chain when she threw it from her high chair

d) electricity bills has gone up because she simply enjoys turning the air conditioner on and off just to hear the beep sound

i'm not trying to find excuses with the last parts, but hey, do share some ideas if you have any. and LX, when you grow up and in any chance get to read this, don't get upset. at least you didn't fall off the 2nd story window of your own home. haha.

morbid comforts

coincidentally on the day child fell off the bed, while we were waiting for my country folks to call in during one of my weekly meetings, my big boss asked about my little one.

i told him that she fell off the bed that morning, and immediately there were gasps, concerned looks and queries on how it happened, and how she was doing. i described the unfortunate event and when i said that the poor critter ended up flat on her back bawling away, it must have came out funny because everyone started to laugh. some of them ended up feeling embarrassed about cracking up but it was okay because i was trying to make light of the situation.

and as if to make up for it, one father started to share his story about a similar incident. he asked me how high my bed was, and i said half a meter. then he told us that his kid fell over a height of one meter. what was upsetting was that both parents were in the room at that time, but just that as their backs were turned, the poor boy pivoted on the cot's rail, which was put half way down, and fell head down towards the floor.

i was not sure if i should feel comforted, then another colleague started to share about the story of her friend's toddler who fell out of the window of her two story bungalow. miraculously, there were no injuries at all.

at that moment, my country folks called in and we went about our business. which is a good thing, because i did not think i could bear to hear more about another child falling out of something that will top a two story bungalow's window.

so my dear LX, if you think about it, compared to these kids, maybe you are not getting such a bad deal after all? hahaha.

that the bolster rolls is no rocket science

today my dear child fell off the bed.

i was in the shower and KH was making his way to brush his teeth when i heard a loud thump, followed by a sharp cry. instinctively, i knew LX fell off the bed.

when i got out of the bathroom after a mad rush thinking oh-my-god-oh-my-god all time, KH was already carrying LX towards me. she wasn't crying anymore and was clearly upset, but mostly she looked shocked. KH inspected her limbs and i checked the back of her head for bumps and thank god, she was in the clear. but still, we aren't entirely satisfied. we promise ourselves we will monitor her for a few more days to make sure she is really alright.

we sort of reviewed the whole incident in the car on our way to work and it turns out that the loud thump i heard was actually from KH, who tripped after he heard LX cried out. LX fell off because she rolled and the bolster, which shouldn't be used as a barricade on the bed against the floor, rolled along. when KH found her, she was lying on her back on the floor, splayed out like a starfish, and bawling away. the image haunted KH in a way, and he felt really really bad about it. i felt bad about it too, because a few times the bolster was used to block LX from the floor, it did occur to me that it will roll along with her. but for some reason i just dismiss that thought. so i have been a party to this too.

luckily LX is fine, no unusual symptoms or bumps. we speculated that the bolster hit the floor first, and she probably landed on it, and then bounced off it. so that could have soften the blow. maybe i'm trying to soften our blow by thinking that, but if that really happens, then we are really lucky.

whatever it is, we will watch out and make sure such things never happen again. my dear LX, mummy and daddy are so sorry. we will constantly remind ourselves that the bolster, being a cylindrical figure, rolls is no rocket science. please forgive us?

this is what happens when you leave your 8 month old alone. . .

... with a farley's rusk. and i'm talking about the whole round rice biscuit. i didn't bother to break it up to smaller portions despite some wise advices from KH.



and after ooo-ing and aah-ing about how she was taking to the biscuit, i actually forgot about it. i went about pushing the pram while talking to my brother, with LX enjoying her bigger-than-her-palm rusk (as in having fun with it rather than in the gastronomical sense).

when i suddenly remembered and checked, the whole rusk was gone. not in her tummy, but all over the pram, her hands and her face. i was glad that at that moment, KH was not around to witness his sweet baby girl mouthing the pram's bar away because it was covered with delicious rusk.

so yeah, the perfect combination of stupidity and forgetfulness.

that was in february when we were at great world city shopping centre. i don't remember why we were there (and why my brother was with us), but i just came across these pictures and decided to make up for lost time by posting this blog.

today, we officially have one more senior citizen in the family...

... because today is my father's 60th birthday! to commemorate this milestone of life, he specifically asked for roasted goose. so yesterday, we brought him to Imperial Treasure (Ngee Ann City) for dinner. 3 generations in the family celebrating the man hitting the big 6-0. my brother told him that he must be feeling all warm and fuzzy.

i didn't hear my father's response to that, because LX was creating mayhem at the table. but earlier part of the day, i did ask my father on how he felt about being a senior citizen officially. and he told me that he had already applied for his senior citizen ez link card 2 weeks ago. then he went on to complain that the lower fares can only be enjoyed during concession hours. in anyways, i am glad that he is making plans for his new status and privileges.

so yeah father, this little slot is dedicated to you on this special day. it has been a great 27 years knowing you, and we hope for many more years to laugh with (and at) you. you are one of the funniest guy i have ever met, simply just because you never meant to be. just love the way you pronounce "soap" for soup, "poke" for pork and "scape" for scalp, and how you always emphasize the "rot" in carROT. and brother and i never bother to correct you. we also appreciate the support you have always given us big guy. so yeah, lose weight and stay happy.

poser