Monday, August 03, 2009
my visit to the doctor
loaded... sausage... what goes in must come out... purge...
believe it or not but these are the words used by my doctor to describe my diagnosis when i visited him for the first time last saturday. the night before, i started having cramps in my stomach. the pain came in regular sharp bursts and it got so bad that i woke up from sleep groaning in misery. fearing it was a bad case of food poisoning, KH solemnly declared that we cancel all plans to see the doctor first thing in the morning.
the visit to the doctor's turned out to be less grim than it seems... at least to KH:
- after describing my symptoms and answering some of his questions, the doctor revealed that it was not food poisoning, just that i was "fecal-ly loaded". KH let out a laugh. The doctor politely asked if KH was my husband.
- i was sent to the examination bed, and the doctor commenced to press around my abdomen. he narrowed his search to the lower left side of my tummy and confirmed that he could feel a "sausage" there. KH let out another laugh. i gave him the shit eye.
- after he was done with the check, we went back to our seats. the doctor told me that if i did not gain weight, as it only make sense that "what went in, must come out". i mentioned that i did not feel the urge everyday. KH eagerly gave an unasked for comment to back that claim up. the doctor then started giving me advices on what to eat to encourage the movement, and said that i must make it a daily affair to "purge".
finally, i was diagnosed as having "abdominal irritations from bacteria due to fecal build up in the digestive tract". in other words, i was full of shit and it was stinking up my whole system. i left the clinic with little medication and one action item. KH left the clinic getting a kick out of my diagnosis and from me.
my own diagnosis? i am definitely going to make this guy my regular doctor.
believe it or not but these are the words used by my doctor to describe my diagnosis when i visited him for the first time last saturday. the night before, i started having cramps in my stomach. the pain came in regular sharp bursts and it got so bad that i woke up from sleep groaning in misery. fearing it was a bad case of food poisoning, KH solemnly declared that we cancel all plans to see the doctor first thing in the morning.
the visit to the doctor's turned out to be less grim than it seems... at least to KH:
- after describing my symptoms and answering some of his questions, the doctor revealed that it was not food poisoning, just that i was "fecal-ly loaded". KH let out a laugh. The doctor politely asked if KH was my husband.
- i was sent to the examination bed, and the doctor commenced to press around my abdomen. he narrowed his search to the lower left side of my tummy and confirmed that he could feel a "sausage" there. KH let out another laugh. i gave him the shit eye.
- after he was done with the check, we went back to our seats. the doctor told me that if i did not gain weight, as it only make sense that "what went in, must come out". i mentioned that i did not feel the urge everyday. KH eagerly gave an unasked for comment to back that claim up. the doctor then started giving me advices on what to eat to encourage the movement, and said that i must make it a daily affair to "purge".
finally, i was diagnosed as having "abdominal irritations from bacteria due to fecal build up in the digestive tract". in other words, i was full of shit and it was stinking up my whole system. i left the clinic with little medication and one action item. KH left the clinic getting a kick out of my diagnosis and from me.
my own diagnosis? i am definitely going to make this guy my regular doctor.
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