Monday, August 03, 2009
my visit to the doctor
loaded... sausage... what goes in must come out... purge...
believe it or not but these are the words used by my doctor to describe my diagnosis when i visited him for the first time last saturday. the night before, i started having cramps in my stomach. the pain came in regular sharp bursts and it got so bad that i woke up from sleep groaning in misery. fearing it was a bad case of food poisoning, KH solemnly declared that we cancel all plans to see the doctor first thing in the morning.
the visit to the doctor's turned out to be less grim than it seems... at least to KH:
- after describing my symptoms and answering some of his questions, the doctor revealed that it was not food poisoning, just that i was "fecal-ly loaded". KH let out a laugh. The doctor politely asked if KH was my husband.
- i was sent to the examination bed, and the doctor commenced to press around my abdomen. he narrowed his search to the lower left side of my tummy and confirmed that he could feel a "sausage" there. KH let out another laugh. i gave him the shit eye.
- after he was done with the check, we went back to our seats. the doctor told me that if i did not gain weight, as it only make sense that "what went in, must come out". i mentioned that i did not feel the urge everyday. KH eagerly gave an unasked for comment to back that claim up. the doctor then started giving me advices on what to eat to encourage the movement, and said that i must make it a daily affair to "purge".
finally, i was diagnosed as having "abdominal irritations from bacteria due to fecal build up in the digestive tract". in other words, i was full of shit and it was stinking up my whole system. i left the clinic with little medication and one action item. KH left the clinic getting a kick out of my diagnosis and from me.
my own diagnosis? i am definitely going to make this guy my regular doctor.
believe it or not but these are the words used by my doctor to describe my diagnosis when i visited him for the first time last saturday. the night before, i started having cramps in my stomach. the pain came in regular sharp bursts and it got so bad that i woke up from sleep groaning in misery. fearing it was a bad case of food poisoning, KH solemnly declared that we cancel all plans to see the doctor first thing in the morning.
the visit to the doctor's turned out to be less grim than it seems... at least to KH:
- after describing my symptoms and answering some of his questions, the doctor revealed that it was not food poisoning, just that i was "fecal-ly loaded". KH let out a laugh. The doctor politely asked if KH was my husband.
- i was sent to the examination bed, and the doctor commenced to press around my abdomen. he narrowed his search to the lower left side of my tummy and confirmed that he could feel a "sausage" there. KH let out another laugh. i gave him the shit eye.
- after he was done with the check, we went back to our seats. the doctor told me that if i did not gain weight, as it only make sense that "what went in, must come out". i mentioned that i did not feel the urge everyday. KH eagerly gave an unasked for comment to back that claim up. the doctor then started giving me advices on what to eat to encourage the movement, and said that i must make it a daily affair to "purge".
finally, i was diagnosed as having "abdominal irritations from bacteria due to fecal build up in the digestive tract". in other words, i was full of shit and it was stinking up my whole system. i left the clinic with little medication and one action item. KH left the clinic getting a kick out of my diagnosis and from me.
my own diagnosis? i am definitely going to make this guy my regular doctor.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
LX will be so proud of us
today is one of the special days of the year, and i must say, i am not exactly thrilled at clocking in on my chronological timeline. therefore to spice things up a little, i brought these home from the office:
they were originally meant for LX for my own amusement, but after some chasing around and cold hard stares from KH, i dropped the idea.
but KH, being the nice daddy and hubby he is, wanting to save his daughter from looking stupid but not disappoint the wife who likes to do stupid things, decided to sacrifice himself. what a great hubby, looking great with that hair style. he even managed to look happy in those pictures (yes, he actually sat through for more than one... eight to be exact). i had wanted him to pose, like combing his "hair", or looking suave but i think it is a better idea not to push my luck too far. but surprise surprise! he even allowed me to post this pic! hahaha...
...my dear child, when you are older and see this pic, i hope you would still be proud of your crazy folks!
they were originally meant for LX for my own amusement, but after some chasing around and cold hard stares from KH, i dropped the idea.
but KH, being the nice daddy and hubby he is, wanting to save his daughter from looking stupid but not disappoint the wife who likes to do stupid things, decided to sacrifice himself. what a great hubby, looking great with that hair style. he even managed to look happy in those pictures (yes, he actually sat through for more than one... eight to be exact). i had wanted him to pose, like combing his "hair", or looking suave but i think it is a better idea not to push my luck too far. but surprise surprise! he even allowed me to post this pic! hahaha...
...my dear child, when you are older and see this pic, i hope you would still be proud of your crazy folks!
Monday, March 09, 2009
you don't mess with the zo-tans
we went to parkway parade on one of the weekends to try to use up my vouchers which were expiring on that day. it was raining and we decided to try our luck for a parking lot in the forever-crowded shopping mall car park instead of a nearby HDB car park. as we head towards the 3rd level of the car park, we got lucky. a family was heading for their car in a lot at a corner.
as per normal practice, KH parked a few cars behind and put on the hazard lights while waiting for the car to exit. however, a few moments later, another car came up and parked right in front of us and put the lights on as well, when obviously only one lot was going to be available.
KH gave him the benefit of doubt and flashed the headlights to signal to the car that we were there first. the car didn't budge, so he decided to press the horn to inform him that the lot was ours. finally the car did move, but instead of leaving, the fellow drove his car up and positioned it some distance away from that lot such that he could slot his car in the moment the other car leaves.
i asked KH if he was going to have it out with that fellow, and he said yes. already, i could see him morph from dr. jekyll to mr. hyde. good luck to the guy who decided to persist his way to hell.
without another word, KH got out of the car, slammed the door, and stormed his way to the other car. maybe it's my imagination, but he even looked a bit hunched up. i couldn't hear the commotion, but i could definitely see it. some minutes later, while KH stormed back, the idiotic driver stared all his way into our car at me, before making his way off. i resisted the urge to give him the finger with great effort. at least not in front of LX.
i asked KH what went on between the two of them. he said he told that fellow that we were there waiting first. and the fellow, instead of apologizing to mr. hyde, defiantly replied "you don't have to shout what, i didn't see you".
come on, cut the crap. you must be blind and deaf not to have noticed our car. and what is your lousy excuse for positioning your car so that you can beat us to the lot once the other car leaves? amazingly, you can even come out with such a lame liner so that you can have the last say.
you are probably keeping your fingers crossed that you could cut us and get the lot, while we just watch you get your way dumbfoundedly? oh oh, and when we stare at you with hatred as you park and leave, you will just look everywhere else except into our eyes? because you have succeeded doing this so many times before? huh, hUH?!
well you have picked the wrong family to mess with then. even if KH wasn't there, i would have given you hell myself. i don't care if i have to create a scene just to showcase your bloody disgusting behavior. still stare at me. i should always arm myself with a camera so that i can film such people down and post their ugly behavior on youtube.
anyways, i am pretty sure that fellow must be bitching about us too because he thinks he is right, with his warp sense of justice. maybe he wasn't staring at me. maybe he was memorizing our car plate, color and make so that one day, if he spots our car in a deserted car park, he can take a spray can that he always keep in handy in his car, draw a big sunshine and write f*ck you on our hood. and maybe for a twisted guy like him, he has a list of cars to spray...
... in your dreams, coward. fight like a man and get your own parking lot, before someone sprays your car instead.
to the intended a-hole recipient: i hope you get the message
as per normal practice, KH parked a few cars behind and put on the hazard lights while waiting for the car to exit. however, a few moments later, another car came up and parked right in front of us and put the lights on as well, when obviously only one lot was going to be available.
KH gave him the benefit of doubt and flashed the headlights to signal to the car that we were there first. the car didn't budge, so he decided to press the horn to inform him that the lot was ours. finally the car did move, but instead of leaving, the fellow drove his car up and positioned it some distance away from that lot such that he could slot his car in the moment the other car leaves.
i asked KH if he was going to have it out with that fellow, and he said yes. already, i could see him morph from dr. jekyll to mr. hyde. good luck to the guy who decided to persist his way to hell.
without another word, KH got out of the car, slammed the door, and stormed his way to the other car. maybe it's my imagination, but he even looked a bit hunched up. i couldn't hear the commotion, but i could definitely see it. some minutes later, while KH stormed back, the idiotic driver stared all his way into our car at me, before making his way off. i resisted the urge to give him the finger with great effort. at least not in front of LX.
i asked KH what went on between the two of them. he said he told that fellow that we were there waiting first. and the fellow, instead of apologizing to mr. hyde, defiantly replied "you don't have to shout what, i didn't see you".
come on, cut the crap. you must be blind and deaf not to have noticed our car. and what is your lousy excuse for positioning your car so that you can beat us to the lot once the other car leaves? amazingly, you can even come out with such a lame liner so that you can have the last say.
you are probably keeping your fingers crossed that you could cut us and get the lot, while we just watch you get your way dumbfoundedly? oh oh, and when we stare at you with hatred as you park and leave, you will just look everywhere else except into our eyes? because you have succeeded doing this so many times before? huh, hUH?!
well you have picked the wrong family to mess with then. even if KH wasn't there, i would have given you hell myself. i don't care if i have to create a scene just to showcase your bloody disgusting behavior. still stare at me. i should always arm myself with a camera so that i can film such people down and post their ugly behavior on youtube.
anyways, i am pretty sure that fellow must be bitching about us too because he thinks he is right, with his warp sense of justice. maybe he wasn't staring at me. maybe he was memorizing our car plate, color and make so that one day, if he spots our car in a deserted car park, he can take a spray can that he always keep in handy in his car, draw a big sunshine and write f*ck you on our hood. and maybe for a twisted guy like him, he has a list of cars to spray...
... in your dreams, coward. fight like a man and get your own parking lot, before someone sprays your car instead.
to the intended a-hole recipient: i hope you get the message
Friday, March 06, 2009
it's been quite a while...
...since i've posted anything here, adding to my "it's been quite a while" collection.
counting back, i realize that it has actually been half a year since i last blogged. i wonder where the hell i've been. i remember trying to make it a point to blog at least once a month to mark the milestones of LX, but look how much i have missed out.
anyways to make up for lost time, here are some quick highlights:september: i got adventurous and brought LX to ikea all on my own. we had fun and i even bought a potty, bibs and some toys.
it stopped being fun when i had to carry LX and the stuff i bought while waiting for the taxi with 10 ahead of me in the line october: LX called KH "daddy" when she saw him walking towards us as we waited outside the car while he went to buy 4D. KH must have felt that he really strike 4D then november: LX went for her first preschool trial lesson. she took to the toys immediately, but not to the teachers and kids. the teacher tried, with effort, to involve her. she didn't try very hard after LX told her to keep quiet when she put her forefinger on her baby lips, pout them a little, and made a "shhhh" sound december: LX went to a chalet (rented by my mom) for the first time january: i released LX without her diapers as i wanted to air her butt, hoping to get rid of some nappy rash. i was thinking of doing it for 5 minutes but decided to push my luck by letting her roam butt naked a little longer.
a few minutes later, LX peed a pool and slipped on it. needless to say, i got hell from KH for this act of stupidity february: LX managed to make a hole out of her pacifier (amazingly) after months of intensive sucking. we decided to use this chance to wean her off it. LX went cold turkey and suffered withdrawal symptoms. it goes without saying that we suffered along with her
i'm sure there were other highlights but i promise it will be quick. when i think of any (and if i have the time) i will be back to post them. and hopefully, the next post will not share the same title as this one.
another one of mom's stupid ideas?
counting back, i realize that it has actually been half a year since i last blogged. i wonder where the hell i've been. i remember trying to make it a point to blog at least once a month to mark the milestones of LX, but look how much i have missed out.
anyways to make up for lost time, here are some quick highlights:
it stopped being fun when i had to carry LX and the stuff i bought while waiting for the taxi with 10 ahead of me in the line
a few minutes later, LX peed a pool and slipped on it. needless to say, i got hell from KH for this act of stupidity
i'm sure there were other highlights but i promise it will be quick. when i think of any (and if i have the time) i will be back to post them. and hopefully, the next post will not share the same title as this one.
another one of mom's stupid ideas?
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